3 may 01

RESPONSES TO THE NEWS THAT SANDRA BULLOCK IS INTERESTED IN PLAYING THE TITLE CHARACTER IN A NEW WONDER WOMAN FILM

"I don't want her to be goddamn Wonder Woman. She's a cheesy, skinny wench."

"UGH! i'll sign your petition [opposing sandra bullock]."

"you, apparently, wouldn't be interested in meeting "mr.right___" from ______'s dating website. among his favorite "lady" actors were: sandra bullock, "jen" lopez, and catherine zeta-jones. among the men: anthony hopkins, robin williams, and winnie the pooh. yikes. fun...but sexy! hmm—what to do...talk to him or just watch 'entertainment tonight'?"

"sandra bullock is not, and never can be wonder woman."

"She can't be wonder woman. She doesn't have the boobs for it."

"egad. I just want to sleep with sandra bullock."

"wuss."

RESPONSES TO THE NEWS THAT LAST NIGHT I WENT TO A STRIP CLUB

"say what?!? explain, please!"

"what's this about a strip club? when did this happen? i can't figure out when you managed to do such a thing in between the time i last saw you and yesterday... i'm beginning to think you've been snowballing me about your supposed docile social life."

"why? I just don't understand women's fascination with strip clubs."