19 september 00

I'm writing this from work because a) they won't have anything for me to do for a while and b) trying to accomplish anything from my home machine at this point is much like trying to pole-vault without any legs. Or maybe without any arms. Which would be more hopeless? I guess once you reach a certain level of futility, the details become unimportant.

Just got off the phone with my father, who is of the belief that I'm making a mistake every time I turn down an offer of a permanent job in favor of continued freelancing. I'm trying not to fall into anything again just because it's easy. Whatever I do I want it to be on purpose. There's something to be said for setting goals and achieving them. Of course, there's also something to be said for receiving a steady paycheck. Wavering paychecks can cause sleeplessness, headaches and nausea. The freelance work has a habit of appearing just in time though (another offer just this afternoon), which theoretically gives me more time to plan what I want to do next. What do I want to do next? I want to carve patterns into my kitchen table. Will anybody pay me to do that?